I missed an opportunity tonight and it lead me to come up with my new year's photography resolution.
Rob and I went out to a 1950's style diner for a burger tonight. We were excited to discuss wedding related things, as his ASOS order, of shoes and a tweed jacket, arrived today... and I couldn't be bothered to cook (we would have been virtuous and had falafel and salad!)
We sat in a booth behind another couple. A seriously awesome couple. She: eyeliner flicks, 80's baggy jumper and an ombre bob. Him: Morrissey hair, brogues and tattoos. Every mouthful of my burger I yearned to blab out, interrupting their quiet dinner together and ask them if they fancied a photshoot. I had so many creative ideas burst into my head (especially in a 1950's styled diner!!) and must have seemed aloof, as Rob asked what I was thinking. I just shrugged it off and carried on being pensive and a boring date.
A photoshoot with this totally cool couple would have been freaking amazing. I kept running through my head how I could ask them, but I didn't. I watched them finish their meal, pay their bill and leave. I didn't say a word. I didn't even catch their eye to smile.
You see, I'm quite an odd little thing really. As a child I would stand on the edge of the party, watching the kids running around, clutching the present, yearning to get involved, but not really knowing how to. I would say "no thank you," to being given 50p to go and buy an ice lolly from the ice cream truck outside in the summer, whilst the other children were eagerly queuing up.
My Mum could never understand it. She's a drama teacher you see, incredibly outgoing, bubbly and warm. Mum watched me miss so many opportunities throughout my childhood, but I didn't see it as a big thing. It was simple. How could I get hurt if I didn't put myself forwards? I'm sure this was the issue... I was scared of rejection and ridicule.
I got better during my teenage years and it all but disappeared when I went to uni. However, once in a blue moon, if I want to do something like I wanted to tonight; asking a couple of complete strangers if they fancied having a photoshoot with a girl stood in front of them, wearing an old hoody and jeans, then I freeze and stop myself. For fear of rejection and ridicule. I stopped myself because they seemed "too cool" for me.
A similar experience happened a last year when a couple in 1940's wedding clothes got married at a steam train station I was attending a beer festival at. A friend plucked up the courage (without my say so ;) ) and asked the couple for me... and I have never looked back. Those photos are my most googled, most popular, most talked about images ever! I just couldn't reassure myself with this tonight and ask that couple a simple sentence. It's so stupid!
I know I'm going to forever kick myself about it, so I decided to come up with a new year's photography resolution to do with it...
If my creative mind says "yes," then I will
listen to it and embrace it.
Wow, putting it down in writing is really cathartic! And awesome couple, if you happen to read this (which I don't have a cat in hell's chance that you will be!!) then please, please get in touch.
What are your new year's resolutions?
Below are some of the images I took last year that made me smile...
2012 is also shaping up to be a fantastic year. I almost have a fully booked season of awesome and eclectic weddings and have some seriously exciting shoots lined up. I cannot wait!!
If you would like me to photograph you, your family, your wedding, or anything else in 2012, then please, please get in touch soon, as my diary already looks rather full! I'm also taking on 2013 weddings from now, so send me an email to receive a 2013 package at 2012 prices.
I also get married in 2012...eeeeak!!!